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The Language of Love

Cassandra Stuart

If you think about it, we are amazingly privileged to be able to choose how we spend our days. Sure, some might argue that there are non-negotiable things that 'have to' get done, but we get to choose how we act and react to it all. It's easy to slide into task-mode, bouncing from one thing to the next, often at the expense of our own personal energy and boundaries which can prompt the self-love talk. It seems to come up more and more nowadays, but what does it even mean?

Coming from someone who's building a brand around self-care, you'd think I'd have a definition of self-love, but it's tricky. It's like trying to describe a colour to a blind person, I know what it means, but it's hard to put into words. Maybe the definition changes and it's about honouring yourself, whatever stage or state you’re in, without trying to judge or change it.

With its rising popularity maybe the concept of self-love is a wakeup call to each and every one of us to be more conscious of how we treat ourselves and more specifically, how we talk to ourselves (and others). Language is an amazing tool and it doesn't always have to be sunshine and happiness. I have to admit, on days when I'm feeling less than stellar, hearing the term self-love and all the positivity that surrounds it can be a bit maddening. How is it that some people are always upbeat and positive? I'm learning that these people too have their moments and expressing negativity is an integral part of self care. Who's to say self-love is only about pretty things?

What if there was a simple solution, no subscription or prescription needed? What if it was as simple as noticing the language you use? Each word holds a vibration meaning that language has the power to pick us up or bring us down. Consider some of these tips to welcome more self-love into your day.  

The Switch-Up

Interchanging your words can create a subtle shift in your day. Because words hold power this means that our words can also give us power. A simple switch in wording can shift the power from a person/idea to you.

For example "I'd like to come straight home but I 'have to' get groceries." This sentence sounds like you are a slave to your groceries (giving groceries the power). Change it to “I'd like to come straight home but 'I want to' get groceries (so that we can have food for the week)." Do you see the difference?  

Celebrate & Deliberate

This tip is helps us to reconnect to self. We tend to put others before ourselves which can get confusing, making it hard distinguish between your needs and someone else's.

It's important to celebrate new opportunities, but this doesn't mean you always have to say yes. Whether it's coffee with a friend, or decision to change jobs, the next time you're faced with a decision honour it and then honour yourself. Take time to consider it and give yourself permission to change your mind too.

For example: "That sounds like a great event, I love that venue. Let me check my schedule and I'll let you know next week."

OR a simple "Thanks for the invitation. I'll let you know."

It can be tremendously liberating to speak from a place of truth. Sure, it takes practice, but the long term benefits make it worthwhile. With all this talk about choice, how will you chose your words?  For more information about speaking up and celebrating a cause check out #TheSelfLovenderProject on Instagram. We are raising awareness about self-love and how it can be an effective tool for activism, specifically around reproductive rights. Know that activism isn't just about big public causes, maybe you want to see a shift in a particular dynamic at home. Know that some of the biggest changes come from the simplest shifts.

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